[Lisa Strata, rises to the edge of a king-sized bed in a penthouse apartment, and Excrucio speaks to her from the headboard.]
EXCRUCIO
I have never met a woman like you!
LISA STRATA
Excrucio, baby, now it's quarter to two!
EXCRUCIO
If you like me, Lisa, why the big rush?
LISA STRATA
Don't get yourself strung out on a ludicrous crush!
EXCRUCIO
Oh! Sure, Lisa! I wouldn't do that.
I'm only wondering-- could we have a chat?
LISA
I would like that! I could call you next week!
But I'm late for another meeting; I'm due at the Astrodult Boutique!
EXCRUCIO
Do you guys put 'astro' in front of everything?
I'm starting to wonder, 'What's that word even mean?'
'Astroconferences' and 'Astronasium'
Women came to pow'r with 'astro' on the cranium!
'Astro Five-Year Plan' and 'In the Astro space'
'Astro' this and 'astro' that!
It's tits and 'astro' all over the place!
[
Excrucio, doing his cartoon dog impersonation.]
I'll give you Astro: "Heh-ro, Hrorge!" and "Rooby-Roo!"
You took advantage of my 'astro' heart, and now it's 'astro' fuck you!
MUSICAL PAUSE
LISA
I should have known the whole thing was crazy!
Men are all the same:
Romantic dipshits and they are so lazy!
Forsithia's to blame:
I admit I loved the attention!
But you're ridiculous!
Take your puppy eyes and songs and get out!
I've better things to do!
What's the point of trying to explain power
To the likes of you!
[Excrucio, slinks away.]
