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An interactive picture book for grown-ups in   rhyming pentameter verse, featuring iconic 60s   trivia, marionettes, and radical behaviorism!         



Act One: Home

About The Social Network  said Fincher,
"Words are the way we lie to each other,"
Which doesn't seem to me that big a deal:
We only have words to say what we feel,
But after three months away from this site,
(Which, thank you, I managed without a fight),
I'm coming back, society of "Friends,"
The I-Use-Facebook-Too-Much guy, again
With a story that came across my desk,
Written modestly by "Anonymous"
(Some nameless schlub or even one of you,
So "share," and I hope you will "like" it, too)
And emailed to that writing site of mine
World Wide Web dot TexEditing dot com.

As a web-editing professional,
Where gibberish is not unusual,
Personally, I'm dubious the style
Will satisfy, let alone make you smile
Although that Anonymous' grammar
Is tight enough to pound with a hammer;
In which case, who am I to say in haste
That reading it, for you, would be a waste
Of time? I don't even know what you do!
Posting it's not like I've been stalking you.
Maybe you literally cannot spare
A few minutes you'll make up here and there
By not reading The Times or even not
Wishing me well on my birthday forgot.

The Mystery of Bitter Root Manor,
Presented as it came through the slammer
(Which I must say, means with some nastiness;
That self-revealing drivel, I confess
Seems over-mannered and should be left out
Of the story, irrelevant to plot.
And, worse I must caution-- or frankly yell,
Is at tex exposed dot html ,
Showing gratuitous full nudity,
And utter disregard for probity),
Raw, ridiculously self-unaware,
With a sole redeeming quality, dere,
Occasionally, I liked the graphics,
Believing them charming and eccentric.
    --Drew Zimmerman, March 18, 2014



ACT ONE: THE CHAPTERS
  1. Vestibule
  2. The Great Hall
  3. The Family Album
  4. The East Staircase
  5. The Pink Bedroom
  6. The Walk-In Closet
  7. The Pink Bathroom
  8. The Rear Hallway
  9. The Sandy Bedroom
  10. The Great Hall (West)
  11. The West Staircase
  12. The Master Bedroom
  13. The Balcony
  14. The Rope Ladder
  15. Tex's Bedroom Window
  16. The Nursery
  17. The Library
  18. Emma's Bedroom
  19. Tex's Bedroom
  20. The Staircase Revisited
  21. The Stairway Re-Revisited
  22. The Clock Panel
  23. The Kitchen
  24. The Dungeon
  25. The Dining Room
  26. The Widow's Walk
  27. The Album Re-Examined

"Instructions for this WEB SITE GAME are these:
Go on and do exactly what you please.
I wrote this story BITTER ROOT MANOR,
But if it's read won't upset my dinner.
On the other hand, don't go off half-cocked
Most of the passages are password locked:
The name of an actor or a villain
Special-guesting on ABC's BATMAN,
The 1966 show episodes,
Will clear the way through this haunted abode,
The secrets hidden a reader could find
Blah, blah, blah, and if he/she had the time,
Well anyway, in these rooms they are writ,
With treasure to win if you give a shit."



The Mystery of Bitter Root Manor is an interactive satirical picture book for grown-ups

Purchase powerful password codes to enhance your reading experience of The Mystery of Bitter Root Manor.
$2.00 for ACT 1 Batman codes
$2.00 for ACT 2 James Bond codes
$5.00 for All Three Acts


Amaze your friends! Don't tell anyone you bought the Bitter Root Manor codes, and they'll probably think you're a genius or something!

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